bleh

My July 5th made me feel so absolutely defeated, not the slightest liberated.

I woke up feeling okay, but to the sound of chainsaws and Latinos shouting in spanish about the damn Eucalyptus trees in the front. Nature and I have this bizarre beautiful relationship. I love nature and respect it, I don't waste water, I don't litter, I dont even spit on the ground, and they cut my trees, all of them. ='[
I cried.='[
that means no birds in the middle of the night, like tonight, it's silent. no one feels like I do tonight. I told someone and well his reaction was less apathetic and more ignored. so whatever man.

It's not that I create bullshit for me to complain about it's just this period in my life is so absoloutly novel, I cannot beleive it.
All the bastards that come into my job, looking for shit to complain about, to get a free lunch.
I guess my government teacher lied to me in high school, telling us about TINFL [ there is no free lunch], something like that.
BULLSHIT. people come in all day & night, complaining about the absence of this, the over dosage of this and every invisible non existent piece of bull imaginable. placing hair on their pancakes, complaining the syrup is too sweet. .... shut yo ass up.
get a life and pay your fucking $6.99 for your grand slam. shit.
insult to injury, working graveyard, I had an entire cup of syrup spilled into my shirt, soaking my bra and making me smell like a pancake for the rest of my shift.- oh yeah I got off work around 2am.
woo work.

AND my pen exploded in my pocket. blue dye eeeeeeeeeeeeeverywhere.

plus there was this cat in there for hours, - I guess he was informed about my business, friend of a friend's friend, assuming he's a part of my life. smh. 3 degrees.

I really am surrounded by insensitive homophobes. that really pisses me off. talking about how 'gay' something is. I wish I had a big ass jagged rock for every dumb mother fucker that has the bold face audacity to say that. considering that gay has always been a positive adjective, gosh damn denotation . I can't even go to work in peace, now that I outed myself and it's not fair that just because of my uh, bisexuality people automatically assume it's all about sex, when in a fact I have yet had an actual authentic experience.

I feel out of touch. fuck this man.

whatever man, its just today has been so absolutely whack I had to rant. I need a blunt.